CONFLICT RESOLUTION
RESTORING AND STRENGTHENING
RELATIONSHIPS
COLOSSIANS 3:12-14
Therefore, as one who has been chosen by God to be His child,
and as one who understands what it means to be holy,
and as one who experiences anew each day God’s incomparable love,
put on a
heart of compassion,
kindness,
humility,
gentleness,
and patience;
forbearing with others,
and forgiving any one who in some way wrongs you,
just as God has forgiven you.
And beyond all these things,
put on love
which is the repairing agent of damaged relationships
and the preserving agent of healthy relationships.
God created the universe, made us in His own image, placed us on the earth, and then redeemed us through the shed blood of Jesus Christ for the primary purpose of entering into and enjoying a shared, mutual, two-way relationship of communion and companionship with us individually and as a family (the Body of Christ, the Church universal), beginning in this life and lasting forever.
TWO IMPORTANT DEFINITIONS
1. Love, in its most basic form, is seeking the good of others. To love is to promote and protect the good of everyone who in any way is affected by your choices and behavior.
Love and endearment are not the same, and therefore they do not always go hand-in-hand. Love is the choice to seek another’s good regardless of how the other person responds or acts toward you. Endearment is the activity of treating another person in ways that inspire affection or warm sympathy in him/her toward yourself. Because love can be given without ever being received it does not necessarily result in a relationship of mutual love. For endearment to take place between two people, it must be sought and received. This requires both parties to be involved in the giving and receiving. Therefore, endearment between two parties always results in a relationship of mutual love.
2. Relationships which are meaningful and fulfilling for both parties are based on a mutual commitment to the other’s well-being and a mutual trust that the other will live up to his commitment.
Relationships of this nature naturally endear the parties to each other, thus strengthening their relational bond through a heart-felt (emotionally felt) attachment to and desire for each other.
THREE FOUNDATIONAL SCRIPTURES
James 4:1-10 . . . What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? [2] You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. [3] You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. [4] You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. [5] Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: "He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us"? [6] But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble." [7] Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. [8] Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. [9] Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. [10] Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.
Romans 12:17-18 . . . Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. [18] If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
Revised 2020