THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
Taken from the “Catechism Of The Catholic Church”
Latin text copyright © Libreria Editrice Vaticana, Citta del Vaticano 1993
Edited, abridged, and rewritten in places by DSB


THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you (Ex. 20:12; Deut. 5:16).

Jesus lived this commandment: “And [Jesus] went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart” (Luke 2:51).

Jesus taught this commandment: “And He said to them, ‘Rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written: “This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far away from Me. But in vain do they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.” Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men.’ He was also saying to them, ‘You are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. For Moses said, “Honor your father and your mother”; and, “He who speaks evil of father or mother, is to be put to death”; but you say, If a man says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corban (that is to say, given to God), you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother; thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition which you have handed down; and you do many things such as that’ (Mark 7:6-13).

The Apostle Paul teaches: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3).

The fourth commandment opens the second table of the Decalogue. It shows us the order of love / charity. God has willed that, after Him, we should honor our parents to whom we owe life and who have handed on to us the knowledge of God. We are also obliged to honor and respect all those whom God, for our good, has vested with His authority.

This commandment is expressed in positive terms of duties to be fulfilled. It introduces the subsequent commandments which are concerned with particular respect for life, marriage, earthly goods, and speech. It constitutes one of the foundations of the social doctrine of the Church.

The fourth commandment is addressed expressly to children in their relationship to their father and mother, because this relationship is the most universal. It likewise concerns the ties of kinship between members of the extended family. It requires honor, affection, and gratitude toward elders and ancestors. Finally, it extends to the duties of pupils to teachers, employees to employers, subordinates to leaders, citizens to their country, and to those who administer or govern it. This commandment includes and presupposes the duties of parents, instructors, teachers, leaders, magistrates, those who govern – all who exercise authority over others or over a community of persons.

Observing the fourth commandment brings its reward: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.” Respecting this commandment provides, along with spiritual fruits, temporal fruits of peace and prosperity. Conversely, failure to observe it brings great harm to communities, the home, and to individuals.

I. The Place of Love in God’s Plan
This fourth commandment does not command love, but the home and every relationship in the home is to be built on love, including the children’s relationship to their parents. If loving our neighbor does not begin between family members, then we know little to nothing about the true meaning, intention, and direction of love.

Jesus said to his disciples: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another” (John 13:34).

In response to the question about the first of the commandments, Jesus says: “The first is, 'Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these” (Mk 12:29-31; Deut 6:4-5; Lev 19:18; Matt 22:34-40; Lk 10:25-28).

The apostle St. Paul reminds us of this: “Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. For this, ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not covet,’ and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans 13:8-10).

II. The Family in God's Plan
The nature of the family
The home based on marriage is established upon the consent of the spouses. A man and a woman united in marriage, together with their children, form a family. God created marriage and the family for the good of the spouses and for the procreation and education of children. The love of the spouses and the begetting of children create among members of the same family personal relationships and primordial (primary, priority) responsibilities.

In creating man and woman, God instituted the human family and endowed it with its fundamental constitution. Its members are persons equal in dignity. For the common good of its members and of society, the family necessarily has manifold responsibilities, rights, and duties.

The Christian family
The Christian family constitutes a specific revelation and realization of the Body of Christ, and for this reason it can and should be called a domestic church. It is a community of faith, hope, and charity; it assumes singular importance in the Church, as is evident in the New Testament (Eph 5:22-6:4; Col 3:18-21; I Pet 3:1-7).

The Christian family is a communion of persons, a sign and image of the communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit – separate yet united as one. In the procreation and education of children it reflects the Father's work of creation. It is called to partake of the prayer and sacrifice of Christ. Daily prayer and the reading of the Word of God strengthen it in charity. The Christian family has an evangelizing and missionary task.

The relationships within the family bring an affinity of feelings, affections and interests, arising above all from the members' respect for one another. The family is a privileged community called to achieve a sharing of thought and common deliberation by the spouses as well as their eager cooperation as parents in the children's upbringing.

III. The Family and Society
The family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God, and make proper use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life in society.

When possible, the family should live in such a way that its members learn to care and take responsibility for the young, the old, the sick, the handicapped, and the poor. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world (Jam 1:27).

The family must be helped and defended by appropriate social measures. Where families cannot fulfill their responsibilities, other social bodies have the duty of helping them and of supporting the institution of the family. Following the principle of subsidiarity, larger communities should take care not to usurp the family's prerogatives or interfere in its life.

The importance of the family for the life and well-being of society entails a particular responsibility for society to support and strengthen marriage and the family. Civil authority should consider it a grave duty to acknowledge the true nature of marriage and the family, to protect and foster them, to safeguard public morality, and promote domestic prosperity."

The political community has a duty to honor the family, to assist it, and to ensure especially: (1) the freedom to establish a family, have children, and bring them up in keeping with the family's own moral and religious convictions; (2) the protection of the stability of the marriage bond and the institution of the family; (3) the freedom to profess one's faith, to hand it on, and raise one's children in it, with the necessary means and institutions; (4) The right to obtain work and housing, and the right to emigrate; (5) and the protection of security and health, especially with respect to dangers like drugs, pornography, alcoholism, etc..

The fourth commandment illuminates other relationships in society. In our brothers and sisters we see the children of our parents; in our cousins, the descendants of our ancestors; in our fellow citizens, the children of our country; in the baptized, the children of the Church; in every human person, a son or daughter of the One who wants to be called "our Father." In this way our relationships with our neighbors are recognized as personal in character. The neighbor is not a "unit" in the human collective; he is "someone" who by his known origins deserves particular attention and respect.

IV. The Duties of Family Members
The duties of children
The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood (Eph 3:14); this is the foundation of the honor owed to parents. The respect of children, whether minors or adults, for their father and mother (Prov 1:8) is nourished by the natural affection born of the bond uniting them. It is required by God's commandment (Ex 20:12).

Respect for parents (filial piety) derives from gratitude toward those who, by the gift of life, their love and their work, have brought their children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom, and grace. “With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents you were born; what can you give back to them that equals their gift to you?" (Sir 7:27-28)

Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience. “My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching . . . When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you (Prov 6:20-22). “A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke” (Prov 13:1).

As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Col 3:20; Eph 6:1). Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

The fourth commandment reminds grown children of their responsibilities toward their parents. As much as they can, they must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude (Matt 7:10-12).

For the Lord honored the father above the children, and he confirmed the right of the mother over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure. Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children, and when he prays he will be heard. Whoever glorifies his father will have long life, and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother (Sir 3:2-6).
 
O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength do not despise him . . . Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is cursed by the Lord (Sir 3:12-13).

Filial respect promotes harmony in all of family life, including the relationships between brothers and sisters. Respect toward parents fills the home with light and warmth. “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged” (Prov 17:6). “With all humility and meekness, with patience, [support] one another in charity” (Eph 4:2).

For Christians a special gratitude is due to those from whom they have received the gift of faith, the grace of Baptism, and life in the Church. These may include parents, grandparents, other members of the family, pastors, catechists, and other teachers or friends.

The duties of parents
The results of married love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation of children, but must extend to their moral education and their spiritual formation. The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute. The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are primordial and inalienable.

Parents must regard their children as children of God and respect them as human persons. Showing themselves obedient to the will of the Father in heaven, they educate their children to fulfill God's law.

Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery – the preconditions of all true freedom. Parents should teach their children to subordinate the material and instinctual dimensions to interior and spiritual ones. Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them: “He who loves his son will not spare the rod . . . He who disciplines his son will profit by him” (Sir 30:1-2). “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4).

The home is the natural environment for initiating a human being into solidarity and community responsibilities. Parents should teach children to avoid the compromising and degrading influences which threaten human societies.

Parents have the responsibility and privilege of evangelizing their children. Parents should initiate their children at an early age into the mysteries of the faith of which they are the "first heralds" for their children. They should associate them from their tenderest years with the life of the Church. A wholesome family life can foster interior dispositions and qualities of character that are a genuine preparation for a living faith and remain a support for it throughout one's life.

Education in the faith by the parents should begin in the child's earliest years. This already happens when family members help one another to grow in faith by the witness of a Christian life in keeping with the Gospel. Family training precedes, accompanies, and enriches other forms of instruction in the faith. Parents have the mission of teaching their children to pray and to discover their vocation as children of God. The church is the heart of the Christian community, and it is a privileged place for the spiritual education of children and parents.

Children in turn contribute to the growth in holiness of their parents. Each and everyone should be generous and tireless in forgiving one another for offenses, quarrels, injustices, and neglect. Mutual affection suggests this. The love of Christ demands it (Matt 18:21-2; Lk 17:4).

Parents' respect and affection are expressed by the care and attention they devote to bringing up their young children and providing for their physical and spiritual needs. As the children grow up, the same respect and devotion lead parents to educate them in the right use of their reason and freedom.

When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their new responsibilities within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel. Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse. This necessary restraint does not prevent them from giving their children judicious advice, particularly when they are planning to start a family.

Some forgo marriage in order to care for their parents or brothers and sisters, to give themselves more completely to a profession, or to serve other honorable ends. They can contribute greatly to the good of the human family.

V. The Family and the Kingdom
Family ties are important but not absolute. Just as the child grows to maturity, and human and spiritual autonomy, so his unique vocation which comes from God asserts itself more clearly and forcefully. Parents should respect this call and encourage their children to follow it. They must be convinced that the first vocation of the Christian is to follow Jesus (Matt 10:37, 16:25).

Becoming a disciple of Jesus means accepting the invitation to belong to God's family, to live in conformity with His way of life: “For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother, and sister, and mother” (Matt 12:49).

Parents should welcome and respect with joy and thanksgiving the Lord's call to one of their children to follow him in singleness for the sake of the Kingdom, in missions, or in a pastoral ministry.

VI. The Authorities In Civil Society
God's fourth commandment also enjoins us to honor all who for our good have received authority in society from God. It clarifies the duties of those who exercise authority as well as those who benefit from it.

Duties of civil authorities
Those who exercise authority should do so as a service (Matt 20:26). The exercise of authority is measured morally in terms of its divine origin, its reasonable nature and its specific object. No one has the right to command or establish what is contrary to moral uprightness, the dignity of persons, and the natural law.
The exercise of authority is meant to give outward expression to a just hierarchy of values in order to facilitate the exercise of freedom and responsibility by all. Those in authority should practice distributive justice wisely, taking account of the needs and contribution of each, with a view to harmony and peace. They should take care that the regulations and measures they adopt are not a source of temptation by setting personal interest against that of the community.

The duties of citizens
Those subject to authority should regard those in authority as representatives of God, who has made them stewards of his gifts (Rom 13:1-2). “Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution . . . Live as free men, yet without using your freedom as a pretext for evil; but live as servants of God” (I Peter 2:13, 16).

It is the duty of citizens to contribute along with the civil authorities to the good of society in a spirit of truth, justice, solidarity, and freedom. Submission to legitimate authorities and service of the common good require citizens to fulfill their roles in the life of the political community.

Christians reside in their own nations, but as resident aliens. They participate in all things as citizens and endure all things as foreigners . . . They obey the established laws and their way of life surpasses the laws . . . So noble is the position to which God has assigned them that they are not allowed to desert it.

The Apostle exhorts us to offer prayers and thanksgiving for kings and all who exercise authority, “that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life, godly and respectful in every way” (I Tim 2:2).

The citizen is obliged in conscience not to follow the directives of civil authorities when they are contrary to the demands of the moral order, to the fundamental rights of persons or the teachings of the Gospel. Refusing obedience to civil authorities, when their demands are contrary to those of an upright conscience, finds its justification in the distinction between serving God and serving the political community. “Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's” (Matt 22:21). “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).

When citizens are under the oppression of a public authority which oversteps its competence, they should still not refuse to give or to do what is objectively demanded of them by the common good (I Peter 2:13-16).

The political community and the Church
Most societies have formed their institutions in the recognition of a certain preeminence of man over things. Only the divinely revealed religion has clearly recognized man's origin and destiny in God, the Creator and Redeemer. The Church invites political authorities to measure their judgments and decisions against this inspired truth about God and man.

The Church, because of her commission and competence, is not to be confused in any way with the political community. She is both the sign and the safeguard of the transcendent character of the human person. Therefore, it is a part of the Church's mission to pass moral judgments even in matters related to politics, whenever the fundamental rights of man or the salvation of souls requires it. The means, the only means, she may use are those which are in accord with the Gospel and the welfare of all men according to the diversity of times and circumstances.