THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
Taken from the “Catechism Of The Catholic Church”
Latin text copyright © Libreria Editrice Vaticana, Citta del
Vaticano 1993
Edited, abridged, and rewritten in places by DSB
THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in
the land which the LORD your God gives you (Ex. 20:12; Deut. 5:16).
Jesus lived this commandment: “And [Jesus] went down with
them
and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His
mother treasured all these things in her heart” (Luke 2:51).
Jesus taught this commandment: “And He said to them,
‘Rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is
written:
“This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is
far
away from Me. But in vain do they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the
precepts of men.” Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold
to
the tradition of men.’ He was also saying to them,
‘You are
experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your
tradition. For Moses said, “Honor your father and your
mother”; and, “He who speaks evil of father or
mother, is
to be put to death”; but you say, If a man says to his father
or
his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corban (that is to
say, given to God), you no longer permit him to do anything for his
father or his mother; thus invalidating the word of God by your
tradition which you have handed down; and you do many things such as
that’ (Mark 7:6-13).
The Apostle Paul teaches: “Children, obey your parents in the
Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the
first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and
that you may live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3).
The fourth commandment opens the second table of the Decalogue. It
shows us the order of love / charity. God has willed that, after Him,
we should honor our parents to whom we owe life and who have handed on
to us the knowledge of God. We are also obliged to honor and respect
all those whom God, for our good, has vested with His authority.
This commandment is expressed in positive terms of duties to be
fulfilled. It introduces the subsequent commandments which are
concerned with particular respect for life, marriage, earthly goods,
and speech. It constitutes one of the foundations of the social
doctrine of the Church.
The fourth commandment is addressed expressly to children in their
relationship to their father and mother, because this relationship is
the most universal. It likewise concerns the ties of kinship between
members of the extended family. It requires honor, affection, and
gratitude toward elders and ancestors. Finally, it extends to the
duties of pupils to teachers, employees to employers, subordinates to
leaders, citizens to their country, and to those who administer or
govern it. This commandment includes and presupposes the duties of
parents, instructors, teachers, leaders, magistrates, those who govern
– all who exercise authority over others or over a community
of
persons.
Observing the fourth commandment brings its reward: “Honor
your
father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land
which the LORD your God gives you.” Respecting this
commandment
provides, along with spiritual fruits, temporal fruits of peace and
prosperity. Conversely, failure to observe it brings great harm to
communities, the home, and to individuals.
I. The Place of Love in
God’s Plan
This fourth commandment does not command love, but the home and every
relationship in the home is to be built on love, including the
children’s relationship to their parents. If loving our
neighbor
does not begin between family members, then we know little to nothing
about the true meaning, intention, and direction of love.
Jesus said to his disciples: “A new commandment I give to
you,
that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love
one another” (John 13:34).
In response to the question about the first of the commandments, Jesus
says: “The first is, 'Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the
Lord
is one; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and
with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your
strength.' The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as
yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these”
(Mk
12:29-31; Deut 6:4-5; Lev 19:18; Matt 22:34-40; Lk 10:25-28).
The apostle St. Paul reminds us of this: “Owe nothing to
anyone
except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled
the law. For this, ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall
not
murder, you shall not steal, you shall not covet,’ and if
there
is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying,
‘You
shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to
a
neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law”
(Romans
13:8-10).
II. The Family in God's
Plan
The nature of the family
The home based on marriage is established upon the consent of the
spouses. A man and a woman united in marriage, together with their
children, form a family. God created marriage and the family for the
good of the spouses and for the procreation and education of children.
The love of the spouses and the begetting of children create among
members of the same family personal relationships and primordial
(primary, priority) responsibilities.
In creating man and woman, God instituted the human family and endowed
it with its fundamental constitution. Its members are persons equal in
dignity. For the common good of its members and of society, the family
necessarily has manifold responsibilities, rights, and duties.
The Christian family
The Christian family constitutes a specific revelation and realization
of the Body of Christ, and for this reason it can and should be called
a domestic church. It is a community of faith, hope, and charity; it
assumes singular importance in the Church, as is evident in the New
Testament (Eph 5:22-6:4; Col 3:18-21; I Pet 3:1-7).
The Christian family is a communion of persons, a sign and image of the
communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit –
separate
yet united as one. In the procreation and education of children it
reflects the Father's work of creation. It is called to partake of the
prayer and sacrifice of Christ. Daily prayer and the reading of the
Word of God strengthen it in charity. The Christian family has an
evangelizing and missionary task.
The relationships within the family bring an affinity of feelings,
affections and interests, arising above all from the members' respect
for one another. The family is a privileged community called to achieve
a sharing of thought and common deliberation by the spouses as well as
their eager cooperation as parents in the children's upbringing.
III. The Family and
Society
The family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural
society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love
and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a life of
relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom,
security, and fraternity within society. The family is the community in
which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God,
and make proper use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life
in society.
When possible, the family should live in such a way that its members
learn to care and take responsibility for the young, the old, the sick,
the handicapped, and the poor. Religion that is pure and undefiled
before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their
affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world (Jam 1:27).
The family must be helped and defended by appropriate social measures.
Where families cannot fulfill their responsibilities, other social
bodies have the duty of helping them and of supporting the institution
of the family. Following the principle of subsidiarity, larger
communities should take care not to usurp the family's prerogatives or
interfere in its life.
The importance of the family for the life and well-being of society
entails a particular responsibility for society to support and
strengthen marriage and the family. Civil authority should consider it
a grave duty to acknowledge the true nature of marriage and the family,
to protect and foster them, to safeguard public morality, and promote
domestic prosperity."
The political community has a duty to honor the family, to assist it,
and to ensure especially: (1) the freedom to establish a family, have
children, and bring them up in keeping with the family's own moral and
religious convictions; (2) the protection of the stability of the
marriage bond and the institution of the family; (3) the freedom to
profess one's faith, to hand it on, and raise one's children in it,
with the necessary means and institutions; (4) The right to obtain work
and housing, and the right to emigrate; (5) and the protection of
security and health, especially with respect to dangers like drugs,
pornography, alcoholism, etc..
The fourth commandment illuminates other relationships in society. In
our brothers and sisters we see the children of our parents; in our
cousins, the descendants of our ancestors; in our fellow citizens, the
children of our country; in the baptized, the children of the Church;
in every human person, a son or daughter of the One who wants to be
called "our Father." In this way our relationships with our neighbors
are recognized as personal in character. The neighbor is not a "unit"
in the human collective; he is "someone" who by his known origins
deserves particular attention and respect.
IV. The Duties of Family
Members
The duties of children
The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood (Eph 3:14);
this is the foundation of the honor owed to parents. The respect of
children, whether minors or adults, for their father and mother (Prov
1:8) is nourished by the natural affection born of the bond uniting
them. It is required by God's commandment (Ex 20:12).
Respect for parents (filial piety) derives from gratitude toward those
who, by the gift of life, their love and their work, have brought their
children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom,
and grace. “With all your heart honor your father, and do not
forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your
parents you were born; what can you give back to them that equals their
gift to you?" (Sir 7:27-28)
Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience. “My
son,
keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching
. . . When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will
watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you (Prov
6:20-22). “A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a
scoffer does not listen to rebuke” (Prov 13:1).
As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should
obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or
that of the family. “Children, obey your parents in
everything,
for this pleases the Lord” (Col 3:20; Eph 6:1). Children
should
also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom
their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in
conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order,
he must not do so.
As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents.
They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and
accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the
emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to
them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts
of the Holy Spirit.
The fourth commandment reminds grown children of their responsibilities
toward their parents. As much as they can, they must give them material
and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or
distress. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude (Matt 7:10-12).
For the Lord honored the father above the children, and he confirmed
the right of the mother over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones
for sins, and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up
treasure. Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own
children, and when he prays he will be heard. Whoever glorifies his
father will have long life, and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his
mother (Sir 3:2-6).
O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long
as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance;
in all your strength do not despise him . . . Whoever forsakes his
father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is cursed by
the Lord (Sir 3:12-13).
Filial respect promotes harmony in all of family life, including the
relationships between brothers and sisters. Respect toward parents
fills the home with light and warmth. “Grandchildren are the
crown of the aged” (Prov 17:6). “With all humility
and
meekness, with patience, [support] one another in charity”
(Eph
4:2).
For Christians a special gratitude is due to those from whom they have
received the gift of faith, the grace of Baptism, and life in the
Church. These may include parents, grandparents, other members of the
family, pastors, catechists, and other teachers or friends.
The duties of parents
The results of married love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation
of children, but must extend to their moral education and their
spiritual formation. The role of parents in education is of such
importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate
substitute. The right and the duty of parents to educate their children
are primordial and inalienable.
Parents must regard their children as children of God and respect them
as human persons. Showing themselves obedient to the will of the Father
in heaven, they educate their children to fulfill God's law.
Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their
children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a
home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and
disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for
education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in
self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery – the
preconditions
of all true freedom. Parents should teach their children to subordinate
the material and instinctual dimensions to interior and spiritual ones.
Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their
children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their
children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them:
“He who loves his son will not spare the rod . . . He who
disciplines his son will profit by him” (Sir 30:1-2).
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring
them
up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4).
The home is the natural environment for initiating a human being into
solidarity and community responsibilities. Parents should teach
children to avoid the compromising and degrading influences which
threaten human societies.
Parents have the responsibility and privilege of evangelizing their
children. Parents should initiate their children at an early age into
the mysteries of the faith of which they are the "first heralds" for
their children. They should associate them from their tenderest years
with the life of the Church. A wholesome family life can foster
interior dispositions and qualities of character that are a genuine
preparation for a living faith and remain a support for it throughout
one's life.
Education in the faith by the parents should begin in the child's
earliest years. This already happens when family members help one
another to grow in faith by the witness of a Christian life in keeping
with the Gospel. Family training precedes, accompanies, and enriches
other forms of instruction in the faith. Parents have the mission of
teaching their children to pray and to discover their vocation as
children of God. The church is the heart of the Christian community,
and it is a privileged place for the spiritual education of children
and parents.
Children in turn contribute to the growth in holiness of their parents.
Each and everyone should be generous and tireless in forgiving one
another for offenses, quarrels, injustices, and neglect. Mutual
affection suggests this. The love of Christ demands it (Matt 18:21-2;
Lk 17:4).
Parents' respect and affection are expressed by the care and attention
they devote to bringing up their young children and providing for their
physical and spiritual needs. As the children grow up, the same respect
and devotion lead parents to educate them in the right use of their
reason and freedom.
When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose
their profession and state of life. They should assume their new
responsibilities within a trusting relationship with their parents,
willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel. Parents should
be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in the choice
of a profession or in that of a spouse. This necessary restraint does
not prevent them from giving their children judicious advice,
particularly when they are planning to start a family.
Some forgo marriage in order to care for their parents or brothers and
sisters, to give themselves more completely to a profession, or to
serve other honorable ends. They can contribute greatly to the good of
the human family.
V. The Family and the
Kingdom
Family ties are important but not absolute. Just as the child grows to
maturity, and human and spiritual autonomy, so his unique vocation
which comes from God asserts itself more clearly and forcefully.
Parents should respect this call and encourage their children to follow
it. They must be convinced that the first vocation of the Christian is
to follow Jesus (Matt 10:37, 16:25).
Becoming a disciple of Jesus means accepting the invitation to belong
to God's family, to live in conformity with His way of life:
“For
whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother, and sister,
and mother” (Matt 12:49).
Parents should welcome and respect with joy and thanksgiving the Lord's
call to one of their children to follow him in singleness for the sake
of the Kingdom, in missions, or in a pastoral ministry.
VI. The Authorities In
Civil Society
God's fourth commandment also enjoins us to honor all who for our good
have received authority in society from God. It clarifies the duties of
those who exercise authority as well as those who benefit from it.
Duties of civil
authorities
Those who exercise authority should do so as a service (Matt 20:26).
The exercise of authority is measured morally in terms of its divine
origin, its reasonable nature and its specific object. No one has the
right to command or establish what is contrary to moral uprightness,
the dignity of persons, and the natural law.
The exercise of authority is meant to give outward expression to a just
hierarchy of values in order to facilitate the exercise of freedom and
responsibility by all. Those in authority should practice distributive
justice wisely, taking account of the needs and contribution of each,
with a view to harmony and peace. They should take care that the
regulations and measures they adopt are not a source of temptation by
setting personal interest against that of the community.
The duties of citizens
Those subject to authority should regard those in authority as
representatives of God, who has made them stewards of his gifts (Rom
13:1-2). “Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human
institution . . . Live as free men, yet without using your freedom as a
pretext for evil; but live as servants of God” (I Peter 2:13,
16).
It is the duty of citizens to contribute along with the civil
authorities to the good of society in a spirit of truth, justice,
solidarity, and freedom. Submission to legitimate authorities and
service of the common good require citizens to fulfill their roles in
the life of the political community.
Christians reside in their own nations, but as resident aliens. They
participate in all things as citizens and endure all things as
foreigners . . . They obey the established laws and their way of life
surpasses the laws . . . So noble is the position to which God has
assigned them that they are not allowed to desert it.
The Apostle exhorts us to offer prayers and thanksgiving for kings and
all who exercise authority, “that we may lead a quiet and
peaceable life, godly and respectful in every way” (I Tim
2:2).
The citizen is obliged in conscience not to follow the directives of
civil authorities when they are contrary to the demands of the moral
order, to the fundamental rights of persons or the teachings of the
Gospel. Refusing obedience to civil authorities, when their demands are
contrary to those of an upright conscience, finds its justification in
the distinction between serving God and serving the political
community. “Render therefore to Caesar the things that are
Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's” (Matt 22:21).
“We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).
When citizens are under the oppression of a public authority which
oversteps its competence, they should still not refuse to give or to do
what is objectively demanded of them by the common good (I Peter
2:13-16).
The political community
and the Church
Most societies have formed their institutions in the recognition of a
certain preeminence of man over things. Only the divinely revealed
religion has clearly recognized man's origin and destiny in God, the
Creator and Redeemer. The Church invites political authorities to
measure their judgments and decisions against this inspired truth about
God and man.
The Church, because of her commission and competence, is not to be
confused in any way with the political community. She is both the sign
and the safeguard of the transcendent character of the human person.
Therefore, it is a part of the Church's mission to pass moral judgments
even in matters related to politics, whenever the fundamental rights of
man or the salvation of souls requires it. The means, the only means,
she may use are those which are in accord with the Gospel and the
welfare of all men according to the diversity of times and
circumstances.