THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT

You shall not commit adultery (Ex 20:14; Deut 5:18).

You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery." But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matt 5:27-28).

I. Male and Female He Created Them
“God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth’ ” (Gen 1:27-28a).

God is love, and in himself He lives a mystery of personal loving communion (the Triune God). Creating the human race in his own image, God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion.

Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul (the non-material part of a person). It especially concerns the capacity to love and to procreate, and in a more general way the inherent ability to form bonds of communion with others.

Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his/her sexual identity. Physical, emotional, and spiritual differences are complementary in that they must be united to make a complete whole. And when united, these differences are oriented toward the good of marriage and the flourishing of family life. The harmony of the couple and of society depends in part on the way in which the differing but unified parts meet the needs, encourage mutual respect, promote love, nurture communion, and protect the relationship between the sexes in marriage.

In creating men 'male and female,' God gives man and woman an equal dignity. Each is a person, and both equally so, because both were created in the image and likeness of God.

When the two sexes are united in marriage, they form an image of the power and tenderness of God, and they become an earthly example of the generosity and creative ability of God. Therefore the scripture says: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). As a result of Adam and Eve’s union, subsequent generations of humans have come forth to fill the earth (Gen 4:1-2, 25-26; 5:1).

Jesus came to restore creation to the purity of its origins. In the Sermon on the Mount, He interprets God's plan strictly: “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt 5:27-28). Why? Because the married couple are no longer two, but one flesh, and adultery (physical or mental) shows deliberate and selfish disrespect for the one with whom you are already one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate (Matt 19:6).

II. The Vocation to Chastity
Chastity is the state of being morally pure and comes from the proper (godly) unity of man’s physical and spiritual natures.

Sexuality, through which we express our physical and biological attachment to this world, becomes chaste in a relationship between a man and a woman when their relationship is mutual and life-long, and when their sexual expressions are freely given gifts. Therefore, the virtue of chastity within marriage involves submission to God, the integrity of each person, the mutualness of the relationship, and keeping the gift of sexual expression pure by giving it to no other than your spouse – in thought or deed.

All forms of sexual immorality are first of all rebellion against God, then the selfish gratification of some perceived need, and if married, unfaithfulness to one’s spouse. Therefore, there is no love in sexual immorality, only lust, and there is no self-giving, only self-taking. All forms of sexual immorality turn us against and away from God while feeding and reinforcing the selfish pursuit of gratification – thus damaging our relationship with God and weakening or destroying the relationship with our partner.

The integrity (moral purity) of the person
The chaste person maintains the integrity of the powers of life and love placed in him. This integrity ensures the unified uprightness of the person, and it is opposed to any behavior that would contaminate it. It tolerates neither a double life nor duplicity in speech (Matt 5:37).

From the early teen years onward, chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery, which is a training in choosing good over evil and God over self. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds lasting joy and inward peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and repeatedly becomes discontent, ungratified, and unhappy (Sir 1:22).

God so made us that we are to act out of conscious and free choice – moved and drawn in a personal way from within – and not by blind impulses or by mere external constraint. Man grows in dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he perseveres in pressing forward toward and maintaining moral purity by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and God’s gracious assistance, effectively following an established means (plan, process, daily routine) suited to accomplishing this end.

Whoever wants to remain faithful to his baptismal promises and resist temptations will want to adopt the means for doing so: self-knowledge gained from honest sel-examination, practice of a vigilant self-discipline adapted to the situations that confront him, obedience to God's commandments, exercise of the moral virtues, study and memorization of scripture, and faithfulness to prayer.

The virtue of chastity seeks to permeate the passions and appetites of the senses with reason ruled and conditioned by the word of God. Such an effort is a long and exacting work – often progressing through stages marked by imperfection and by sin. Hence, one can never consider it acquired once and for all. Indeed, it requires a serious effort at all stages of life. However, the effort required tends to be more intense in certain periods, such as the teen years or after having been married for some number of years. Though chastity represents an eminently personal task, it is made easier or harder by the practices and observable activities of the community and larger cultural. Therefore, Christians ought to separate themselves from such influences and do their part in influencing the community and larger culture toward moral purity.

Chastity is a moral virtue. It is also a gift from God, a grace, a fruit of spiritual effort (Gal 5:22-24). The Holy Spirit enables one whom the water of Baptism has regenerated to imitate the purity of Christ (1 Jn 3:3).

The complementary differences of the gift of self
Love is the foundation of all the virtues. Under its influence, the marriage relationship models the pure and faithful gift by God of His son to us – for our good, wholeness, and joy.

Self-mastery is required to ensure the gift of self is given only within the boundaries of married love. Under its influence, the marriage relationship models the faithfulness and lovingkindness of Christ toward His church.

The various forms of chastity
All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has "put on Christ" (Gal 3:27), who is the model for all chastity – physically, emotionally, and mentally. All Christ's faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life.

People should cultivate chastity in the way that is suited to their state of life. Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner. Others live in the way prescribed for all by the moral law. Married people are called to live conjugal chastity. Others practice chastity in abstinence, self-restraint or moderation. The church does not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others.

Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in abstinence. They should see in this time of testing an opportunity to grow in dependance on God’s grace and empowerment, growth in prayer, the nurturing of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in faithfulness in the face of challenging circumstances, and the opportunity to choose God’s will over the will of their flesh. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love.

Offenses against chastity
Lust is the excessive desire for or selfish enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally abnormal and spiritually damaging when sought for itself, isolated from its emotional and physical self-giving or its procreative purposes.

Masturbation is to be understood as deliberate self-stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. Masturbation is an intrinsically selfish and therefore a spiritually and relationship harmful act. In fact, sexual pleasure that is sought outside of the sexual relationship within the bond of marriage is against the moral good, devalues mutual self-giving, emboldens selfishness, and diminishes the desire to love others as oneself.

Fornication is sexual activity and/or union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is contrary to the laws of God, the nature of love, the dignity of relationships, and human sexuality – which was created by God for the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Fornication is especially grievous in the young for it sets a course, establishes habits, and builds values that make self the most important person – especially in any relationship involving sexual activity.

Pornography consists in deliberately displaying to third parties every possible form of sexual immorality and nudity – real or simulated. By its nature, pornography removes intimacy from the sexual act and shows contempt for the marriage relationship and being one flesh with one’s sexual partner. It thrives on greed, selfishness, lust, and the illusion of a fantasy world – beginning with the producers, to the performers, and on to the observers. Because the observer can often observe in private, pornography is often a hidden evil that has made its way even into the church. Yet hidden or open, pornography is a great evil that ought never be a part of God’s people.

Prostitution degrades the person who provides it by turning the person into an instrument of sexual pleasure. It degrades the sexual act by turning what ought to be driven by love and intimacy into an act driven by money and lust. It degrades the one who pays by reinforcing the lie that selfish lust is an acceptable reason to pursue sexual pleasure. If the payee is a Christian, it is an act of rebellion against God, it violates the purity to which he pledged himself at Baptism, and it defiles his body which is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:15-20). If the payee is married, it is an act that breaks one’s marriage vows, an act of unfaithfulness to one’s spouse, and an act of extreme disrespect for one’s spouse.

Rape is the forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of another person. It is an offence against justice and the denial of love. Rape is a heinous evil that strips away the respect, freedom, and physical and moral integrity to which every person has a right. It causes grave damage that can mark the victim for life – emotionally, relationally, and socially. Graver still is the rape of children committed by parents (incest), relatives, neighbors, or those responsible for the education of the children entrusted to them.

Chastity and homosexuality
Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its origins are explained in Romans 1:24-27, and based on this and other scriptures, God declares that homosexual acts are acts of grave depravity (Gen 19:1-29; Lev 18:22, 20:13; 1 Cor 6:9-10; 1 Tim 1:8-11). Therefore, scripture and church tradition has always declared that homosexual acts are acts of rebellion against God and contrary to the natural use of the sexual organs. Homosexuality closes the sexual act to the gift of life and shows contempt for becoming one flesh with one’s spouse. Under no circumstances can acts of homosexuality be approved.

However, the number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for many of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity while being exhorted to put an end to any activity and practice of homosexuality – just as a married person is exhorted to resist all temptations to adultery. If they are Christians, they are to be encouraged and helped to make commendable progress in denying and dying to the desires and feelings that would take them outside God’s will, and to bear the cross of difficulties they may encounter in choosing God’s will over their ungodly inclinations and desires.

Like heterosexuals, homosexuals are called to chastity. By the daily grace of God, the living word, much prayer, the virtues of self-mastery, and at times by the support of disinterested friendship, Christian homosexuals can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

III. The Love of Husband and Wife
Sexuality properly belongs to the love of man and woman within the bonds of marriage. In marriage, the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between baptized persons are sanctified by God, and their union into one flesh is like the union between Christ and His church (Eph 5:31-32).

Sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something simply biological, but includes a giving of the innermost being of the each person. This is self-giving – which is both honorable and realized when a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death. Therefore, the sexual act, when performed within the bonds of a committed, enduring relationship (marriage), becomes a God-ordained source of intimacy, joy, and pleasure. Truly, there is nothing evil in seeking this intimacy, joy, and pleasure. Yet at the same time, spouses should learn how to keep themselves within the limits of godly moderation so that love does not turn to lust, and self-giving to self-taking.

In addition to providing intimacy within marriage, the sexual act provides for the transmission of life and the establishment of the family. Such life-producing family expansion is the sacred privilege of all married couples to whom God grants the grace of fertility. It is also the ultimate act of self-giving, for it holds nothing back from the possibility of new life coming forth from the sexual act. And as with becoming one flesh, so the transmission of life and establishing a family provides another reason to reject infidelity of every kind.

IV. Offenses Against the Sacredness of Marriage
Adultery
Adultery refers to marital infidelity. When a man and a woman, of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations – even transient ones – they commit adultery. Christ condemns the physical act of adultery and any desire to commit adultery (Matt 5:27-28).

Adultery is a heinous evil. He who commits adultery sins against God. He fails to keep his pledge of faithfulness to his spouse. He breaks the bond of marriage and shows contempt for the oneness of flesh with the other spouse. He shows selfish disregard for the rights of the other spouse, and undermines the institution of marriage by breaking the contract on which it is based. He compromises the good of the family and the welfare of children who need their parents' stable union. Finally, he sins against himself (Prov 6:27-29).

Divorce
The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble (Mt 5:31-32; 19:3-9; Mk 10 9; Lk 16:18; 1 Cor 7:10-ll). He revokes the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law (Matt 19:7-9). Between the baptized, a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death and adultery. The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases – such as in cases of ongoing physical and sexual abuse.

Except for the cause of adultery, divorce is a grave offense against the principle of becoming one flesh with one’s spouse. Like adultery, it shows contempt for the pledge of faithfulness to one’s spouse. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the seriousness of the rupture caused by the divorce. Therefore, if a husband, separated from his wife, has sexual relations with another woman, he is an adulterer and he makes that woman commit adultery. The woman who has relations with a married man is an adulteress, because she has drawn another's husband to herself.

Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings great harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.

It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. However, there is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the other spouse and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault seriously damages or even destroys a valid marriage.

Other offenses against the dignity of marriage
Incest designates intimate relations between relatives or in-laws within a setting that prohibits marriage between them (Lev 18:7-20). St. Paul stigmatizes this especially grave offense: “It is actually reported that there is immorality among you . . . for a man is living with his father's wife.... In the name of the Lord Jesus ... you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh...." (1 Cor 5:1-5).

Connected to incest is any sexual abuse perpetrated by adults on children or adolescents entrusted to their care. This offense is compounded by the terrible harm done to the physical, psychological, and moral integrity of the young, who may remain scarred by it all their lives.

Some today claim a right to live together for the purpose of seeing if they are compatible enough to marry and remain married. Though there may be an intention of getting married later, such liaisons show contempt for the will of God regarding marriage and scoff at the principle of becoming one flesh and at making an “until death parts us” commitment to one’s sexual partner. Sexual union is morally legitimate only when accompanied by a commitment to remain faithful to and live with each other (marriage) for the rest of one’s life.