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The Contents Of This Chapter
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What
motivates us to sin? When we know the right thing to do, why do we do
what is wrong? When we know how much we hate being taken advantage of,
manipulated, intimidated, wrongly accused, verbally or physically
abused,
gossiped about, ridiculed, or rejected, why do we treat others in these
ways?
When history documents that sin unleashes deadly consequences which
boomerang
on the sinner and victimize all who are affected by it, why do we
deliberately
do what we know is wrong? When research continues to document the
harmful
effects of sin on the human body, relationships, the family, the
community, the
economy, the government, and the environment, why is it our preferred
choice in
so many situations? When common sense tells us that God is hurt by our
sin just
as we would be hurt if our spouse committed adultery, why are we so
insensitive
to Him in our eagerness to sin?
The
most
compelling motive for doing what we know is wrong comes from a
self-centered
concern for our interests or well-being merged with distrust of God.
When
we speak
of the goodness of God, we are referring to His ability and willingness
to
always act in a manner that promotes and/or protects our good. When we
speak of
the reliability of God’s Word, we are referring to the
Bible’s ability to
rationally and practically instruct us on how to live a happy and
fulfilling
life. Therefore, unbelief in God and His Word is based on the
conviction that
neither God nor His Word can be completely trusted to do us enough good
or give
us the right kind of instruction to make life as happy, safe, secure,
and
satisfying as we want it to be.
Self-centeredness
is an excessive or exclusive concern with self that results in seeking
our own
good at the expense of others. It is doing what we believe is best for
ourselves in spite of the unjust and harmful affects our self-serving
actions
have on others. Self-centeredness is built on the premise that personal
health,
happiness, prosperity, power, possessions, popularity, and security are
more
important than the rights and well-being of others.
Therefore, the self-centered person pursues
what he wants and protects himself from what he doesn’t want
in ways that
either intentionally or neglectfully inflict unnecessary pain or loss
on
everyone affected in any way by his selfishness.
Consider
this
line of reasoning. When we do not trust God and His Word to
satisfactorily meet
our needs, satisfy our desires, or solve our problems as we want them
solved,
we do the only thing that seems sensible – we take matters
into our own hands,
decide what is best for us, and then do for ourselves what we are
convinced God
either will not or cannot do for us.
Therefore,
the
underlying motive for sin is an excessive or exclusive concern for our
own good
coupled with distrust (the belief that God and His ways cannot
be completely
trusted to promote or protect our good). In other words, we
sin when we
think we must act in our own self-interest to do for ourselves what it
seems
God and His Word cannot be trusted to do for us.
The
first sin
provides a clear picture of this cycle. Eve, out of a concern for her
own good
began doubting that God was giving her all that was rightfully hers to
have.
Believing He was unfairly withholding knowledge which could make her
life
better than it was, she took matters into her own hands and acted in
her own
self-interest. But by taking what she wanted (eating the fruit)
she was
not only doing what she knew was wrong, she was ignoring the direct
effect of
her selfishness on her husband and any future generations. Her focus
was solely
self-centered and her action self-serving. Clearly, the direct result
of her
concern for her own good fueled by distrust of God was a selfish, and
therefore
sinful, act.
Now
consider
the sin of Jonah, a prophet of God. He was told by God to warn the
people of Nineveh
that judgment was coming. Because of their excessive sinfulness God was
threatening to destroy them. But Jonah did not go to Nineveh. He went
in the
opposite direction. He didn’t go to Nineveh because he knew
God leaned toward
mercy, and if Nineveh heeded the warning and repented, God
wouldn’t destroy
them. Jonah wanted Nineveh destroyed. He believed they deserved
annihilation.
So he got on a boat for Tarshish. During the voyage God caused a great
storm to
arise. To lighten the ship and save the lives of everyone on board, the
sailors
threw the cargo overboard.
Whose
cargo
was it? Did people suffer as a result of its loss? Was it fair for
those who
owned the cargo to suffer such a loss? Was it not one man, Jonah, who
in
distrusting God’s goodness (thought God to be
unwisely merciful), acted
selfishly and caused others to suffer unjustly? Did Jonah show loving
concern
for the good of others when he chose to do what served his interests?
Such is
the way of sin. When a concern for one’s own interest is
fueled by distrust of
God, we turn to sinful solutions to solve our need or satisfy our
desire - every time.
(Note:
Jonah 1-3)
Therefore,
the
Scriptures teach that without faith in God it is impossible to please
Him. But
what kind of faith must we have to please God? Faith in His existence?
Yes, but
that alone is not enough. Even Satan believes God exists. The faith we must have to
please God is trust
in His goodness and in the reliability of His Word to the degree that
we
forsake self-centeredness and place our lives and the lives of those
dearest to
us in God’s hands for His safe-keeping while devoting
ourselves to the task of
deliberately (thoughtfully so as to know what we are doing and
why we are
doing it), courageously (facing danger, fears, and
the unforeseen with
confidence that God will take care of us), dauntlessly (without
giving
in to intimidation or discouragement), and cheerfully (willingly
and
whole-heartedly), living as He says to live.
When
we
distrust God and His Word, whatever the area of life or the particular
situation may be, we resort to our own self-serving ways to ensure our
good.
But we cannot selfishly promote or protect our own good without
sacrificing the
good of others. We cannot sacrifice the good of others without causing
them to
needlessly and unjustly suffer in some way. Causing others to
needlessly and
unjustly suffer for selfish purposes breaks God’s heart,
because He loves them
as much as He loves us. So, like any good parent, God is displeased
with any
child who selfishly and deliberately brings unnecessary pain and
suffering into
the lives of the other family members.
The
Israelites saw
the awesomeness of God’s power in the ten plagues He brought
on Egypt to
convince Pharaoh to free the Jews. They saw the depth of
God’s compassion when
He rescued them from slavery in Egypt. They saw the timeliness of
God’s
provision when He parted the Red Sea so they could cross it on foot to
escape
the Egyptian army. And, they saw the faithfulness of God’s
protection when He
destroyed the Egyptian army in the waters of the Red Sea.
These
experiences inspired the Israelites to trust in the goodness of God and
the
reliability of His word. Because of their trust, they believed His
promise of a
new homeland and agreed to obey His commands on how to live. Filled
with
confidence in God, they worshiped Him and sang songs of praise to His
name.
Yet
after a
time they grew bored with what God had given them and dissatisfied with
what He
was doing for them. The promised homeland no longer excited them, and
what He
had done in the past no longer inspired them. They began thinking that
the very
things they didn’t have were the things they now needed to
feel happy and
satisfied. In their discontent they became self-centered, looking for
happiness
and fulfillment in ways and places they knew were wrong.
Now it is important to know that after rescuing the Israelites from the land of Egypt, God subsequently destroyed those who returned to unbelief. Why, after going through all the effort to rescue them, did He destroy those who quit trusting Him? Because unchecked unbelief turns every Promised Land into a wasteland of selfishness where sin is glorified, righteousness vilified, relationships damaged or broken, and people victimized. Therefore, God’s love for each Israelite compelled Him to destroy those who did not believe. (For a short history read: Psalm 106; Jude 5)
When
we
believe our interests are at risk and at the same time believe God
can’t be
trusted to promote or protect those interests, we choose the way of
selfishness. To whatever degree we selfishly promote or protect the
good of
self, to that degree we carry out our self-centeredness at the expense
of
others. To whatever degree we deliberately seek our good at the expense
of
others, to that degree we say and do things we know are wrong. When we
do
things we know are wrong, we have sinned.
Think
about
this. When we do not trust the most powerful being in the universe to
do what
is best for us, we trust in the only other person reliable enough to
deserve
our trust. And that person is self. When we don’t trust God,
we take matters
into our own hands and do what we think is best for ourselves. Our
thinking
follows this line of reasoning. When the most powerful being in the
universe
can’t be trusted to guarantee happiness and security, we must
resort to other
means and depend on other forces to ensure our happiness and
well-being. Given
the fickleness of human nature, there are not many people we can depend
on and
no one we can depend on all the time. Therefore, the only trustworthy
substitute for an untrustworthy God is self.
However,
distrust of God goes hand-in-hand with distrust of His Word. When we
distrust
God, we replace reliance on how He says to live with reliance on what
we think
is best. Our thinking follows this line of reasoning. If the one who
tells us
how to live is untrustworthy, then certainly what he has to say about
how to
live is equally unreliable. Since no one else is perfectly selfless, no
one
else can be trusted to always tell us what is best for us. We are the
only ones
who can accurately see what is best for us. We are the only ones who
can
accurately decide how we must live to promote and protect what we
believe is
best for us. Therefore, the only trustworthy substitute for
God’s untrustworthy
directions on how to live is self-determination – deciding
for ourselves what
is right and wrong so our lives are as happy and satisfying as we think
they
ought to be.
But
there is
an inherent problem to self-reliance and self-rule. We cannot distrust
God and
seriously question the reliability of His Word without also rejecting
love as
the ruling principle over all we do and say.
God’s
only way
of dealing with us is the way of love (promoting and
protecting the good of
everyone affected in any way by whatever He says or does).
God’s only
demand of us is that we live by this same standard. To turn from trust
in God
and His Word is to turn from this way of loving which promotes and
protects the
good of everyone affected in any way by whatever we do or say. This
leaves only
one other ruling principle by which to live, and that principle is
selfishness.
Therefore,
to
turn to self-reliance and self-rule is to turn to promoting and
protecting the
good of self without equal concern for the good of others. The only
possible
result of this is selfishness. Selfishness always leads to sin, and sin
is
heinous because of its inherent destructiveness to the sinner and
everyone
adversely affected by the sin the sinner has committed.
But
God’s way
of love doesn’t mean we cannot be interested in the good of
self. It means that
our interest in our own good is always restrained and balanced by our
interest
in the good of others. Love restrains self-interest by keeping it from
thinking
its interests are superior to the interests and needs of others. In
this way we
are able to see that the interests and needs of others are at least
equal to
our own if not more important than our own. Love balances self-interest
by
keeping it sensitive to seeking the good of self in a manner which
simultaneously promotes and protects the good of anyone affected by
what it
does for self. (Note:
Philippians 2:3-4)
Now
we can go
one step farther, for love is not confined to promoting and protecting
the good
of everyone – including self.
We can
sacrifice something precious (possessions, health, or life
itself) to
seek the good of others. Though this is not a requirement of love, it
is a
recognized gift of love. Jesus demonstrated this gift-giving when he
voluntarily paid the penalty for our sins in dying on the cross.
Soldiers do
this when they sacrifice their bodies and even their lives to save
fellow
soldiers. Fathers and mothers have done this when trying to save their
family
from impending disaster (fire, flood, storms, roving gangs).
Though most
often done for those we hold dear, love has the capacity and freedom to
sacrifice the good of self to ensure the good of others. (Note:
Philippians
2:5-8)
However,
our
nature is such that we are easily tempted to choose the good of self
over the
good of others. Add to this our tendency to distrust God and to
question the
reasonableness of what He says about how to live, and self-centeredness
becomes
our priority. From there we eagerly and deliberately seek the good of
self at
the expense of others.
We
like the
selfish way because most often it is the only direct, expedient way to
get what
we want when we want it. It is for this very reason that Satan has
crafted sin
to have the appearance of being able to produce immediate gratification
for our
wants and fast-acting solutions for our needs. And, he has pasted an
eye-catching label on every sin – a label which boldly
proclaims that this sin
will provide the shortest route to personal happiness (be it
pleasure,
popularity, prosperity, possessions, power, privacy, or protection).
Being
self-centered, we eagerly turn to sin to satisfy our self-interest.
Yet
the
promise of sin is really a lie. Sin promises true happiness on demand,
but it
gives cheap imitations which can at best gratify our self-interest for
the
moment. Sin’s benefits, even when accumulated, only produce a
hollow, temporary
shell of the good life. So to gain the happiness and satisfaction we
seek, we
must turn to sin again and again. This brings a form of happiness, but
it also
compounds our problems – creating more unhappiness. Satan
won’t tell you this,
but for all its fast acting, self-gratifying benefits, sin always makes
more
problems and therefore more unhappiness for us sinners. Whatever
problems we
are trying to solve by sinning, we will have more because
we’ve sinned.
Truly,
sin is
like a miniature sugar-coated time bomb. We want the sugar coating
because its
sweetness gratifies some need in our life. So we swirl the time bomb in
our
mouth, savoring every last bit of sweetness until it’s gone.
Then we swallow.
Now we may get lucky, which means the bomb won’t explode for
several months or
even years. (But then, maybe we’re not so lucky if
the bomb doesn’t explode
right away because that allows us to think we can swirl more miniature
sugar-coated time bombs without fear of the consequences.) Yet more often than not,
the bomb explodes
within minutes, hours, days, or weeks of swallowing –
wreaking havoc in our
lives and in the lives of everyone affected by its explosion.
Looking
at sin
from this perspective makes it seem stupid to swirl any more miniature
sugar-coated time bombs. But
we will.
Even though we can see the lie in sin’s false advertising,
our yearning for the
sugar-coating prompts us to abandon common sense and sin anyway. In our
selfishness we ignore reality. In our concern with getting what we want
or with
protecting ourselves from what we don’t want we ignore the
fact that once they
are swallowed the bombs will explode and there is nothing we can do to
stop the
explosion or stem the damage. Oh, we’ll try.
In fact, swirling more miniature sugar-coated time bombs
is our favorite
method of trying to stop imminent explosions or repairing the damage of
previous explosions - which is a testimony to our
commitment to
foolish, irrational thinking and self-deception.
So
why are we
so self-destructive? Why are we so willing to harm others, including
those we
claim to love and hold dear? Unbelief merged with self-centeredness!
Concern
for our own well-being coupled with distrust of God (afraid He
won’t or
can’t do what we think must be done) is the
underlying motive for sin.
Truly,
unbelief is the root of sin and all our foolish interest in it. To live
according to the standard of love, to make love the ruling principle
over our
words and deeds, we must trust in the goodness of God and in the
reliability of
His Word. For this reason, God says that those who are righteous are
righteous
because they live by faith. (Note: Titus 1:15-16; Hebrews 3:12-19,
10:35-39;
Romans 1:16-17)
Does
unbelief
in the goodness of God and the reliability of His Word result in a
completely
godless life? Sometimes
it does, but
most often it doesn’t. Most people have some belief in a
divine being and in a
divine code of ethics and morality. Many people obey some of
God’s commands
because they believe it is best. Many turn to God in difficult, trying
circumstances because they believe He is able to help. Their condition
is not
one of total distrust, but partial unbelief. This partial unbelief is a
common
malady among those who consider themselves Christians. It was also a
problem in
Israel after the Israelites entered the Promised Land.
Before
entering the Promised Land the Israelites promised to do all that God
commanded. They made this promise because they trusted Him to be the
only
provider and protector they needed. However, after living in the
Promised Land
awhile, they grew dissatisfied with God’s provision and
protection. As their
dissatisfaction grew, their distrust grew. They became convinced God
either
could not or would not do for them what they believed needed doing to
have a
happy, satisfying life. To get the happiness and satisfaction they
believed
they deserved, they took matters into their own hands and began acting
in their
own self-interest. In other words, they chose to become self-centered
and
resort to sinful means to do for themselves what they believed God
couldn’t be
trusted to do for them.
Did
the
Israelites distrust God completely? No. Did they break all
God’s laws? No. Were
they selfish all the time? No. They continued to seek God’s
help and ask for
His direction in the life of the nation. They faithfully participated
in the
worship services held at the temple. In regard to their sin, they
fulfilled
God’s requirements for the sacrifice of animals and
ceremonial cleansing. They
kept God’s dietary requirements, refusing to eat blood or the
meat of any
animal He declared unclean. They paid their tithes and offerings to the
Temple
in Jerusalem. Yet at the same time they were deliberately, and of their
own free
will, doing things they knew were wrong to compensate for what they
thought God
wouldn’t or couldn’t do for them. Thus, their
unbelief and resulting
disobedience became a stench in God’s nostrils. (Note: Exodus
19:8, 24:3-8;
Isaiah 1:2-20)
There
are
three reasons why partial unbelief in the goodness of God and the
reliability
of His Word is a stench in God’s nostrils.
First,
unbelief is distrust whether it is partial or complete. If unbelief is
complete, we completely reject God and His ways. If unbelief is
partial, we
selectively reject God and His ways. The important truth to understand
is that
any amount of distrust in God and His Word results in the same
action –
rejecting God’s way, taking matters into our own hands, and
acting on our own
behalf without loving regard for the good of others. This means others
will be
unjustly hurt by our selfishness. And whether we hurt a few sometimes
or many
all the time, we are deliberately and unnecessarily hurting others to
further
our own interests. For this reason, unbelief is not an issue of
degrees, but
results. Therefore, the stench of unbelief which offends the nostrils
of God
comes from the unloving, self-serving, destructive results of unbelief.
Second,
any
amount of distrust of what we know to be true about God and His Word
results in
our deliberately doing what we know is wrong. Unbelief held in
ignorance is not
a worrisome issue to God. This doesn’t mean that
He’s not grieved over our
distrust and the its hurtful effects on others. But He knows that if we
are
committed to pursuing godliness in all our behavior, we will search and
monitor
every area of our life for any distrust so we can confess it, repent of
it, and
get on with trusting Him in that area, too. Therefore, partial unbelief
is not
the horrendous problem it is because of sins committed in ignorance by
well-meaning people. Partial unbelief is the problem it is because we
compensate
for our distrust of God by deliberately and often repeatedly looking
out for
our interests at the expense of others. In other words, unbelief leads
to
mistreating or simply failing to love those around us. This is sin,
selfish,
unloving, heinous, and inhumane. Therefore, willfully doing what we
know is
wrong at the expense of others because we don’t completely
trust our completely
trustworthy God is a stench which offends God’s nostrils.
Third,
partial
unbelief in what we know to be true about the goodness of God and the
reliability of His Word too often hides behind the lies of
self-deception.
Self-deception is the worst form of deception because it is
self-induced. We
deceive ourselves for the purpose of substituting what we know to be
true for
the lies we want to believe as true. We lie to ourselves about our
selfish
choices and behavior so we can think of ourselves as good, well-meaning
people
when in fact we are seeking our own good at the expense of others. Yet
as long
as we maintain the lie, we feel good about practicing our sin. As long
as we
tell ourselves we are good, well-meaning people who are doing the best
with
what we have, we feel no guilt when selfishly doing what makes life
better for
us and worse for others. Truly, the worst part of partial unbelief is
that we
deny its existence and its effects on others through self-deception.
Thus
partial unbelief is an offensive stench to God’s nostrils.
To
make
clearer why self-deception is so evil, consider its three primary
forms. 1)
Blocking selected information or experiences from our thinking,
2) Choosing to think and act in ways that cushion the blows of
unwanted
pain or loss, and 3) Creating elaborate, well defended justifications
for doing
what we know is wrong. What follows is an explanation of these three
forms of
self-deception.
(1)
Some of
us deceive ourselves by blocking selected information or experiences
from our
thinking. In essence, we believe there are certain realities
about God, His
Word, ourselves, others, the past, and the future that are too
difficult or
painful to face and live with. So to protect ourselves from what these
difficult or painful realities stir up in us, we block them from our
thinking
as if they don't exist.
Mary
grew up
in a deeply religious home. It was happy and peaceful until she was
twelve
years old. Then, open and escalating conflict broke out between her
parents.
The conflict was cyclical – same issues over and over without
resolution. Mary
felt the pain of her parents’ verbal battles –
battles which were saturated
with put-downs and threats. She felt helpless as she watched the
disintegration
of her once peaceful, seemingly happy family. She felt betrayed by the
two
people she’d always depended on to love her more than anyone
loved her. But her
strongest feelings – feelings of resentment and anger
– were directed at her
father. His outbursts of anger seemed to keep the conflict boiling,
repeatedly
causing pain for everyone. She hated the bad feelings so much that she
determined to keep her marriage free from conflict – and she
did.
After
getting
married, she worked to build godly truths into her relationship with
her
husband and children. Those outside the home thought of her as the
almost
perfect wife. But her husband, though deeply in love with her and
appreciative
of most things she did, was frustrated and hurt. Why? Because Mary
would not
deal with the conflict that existed between them. To fulfill her goal
of a
no-conflict-no-pain home she blocked the things from her thinking that
caused
conflict. And she used this blocking method to deceive herself into
believing
her marriage was conflict-free. While this prevented her from facing
and
dealing with her part in the conflicts, it made it possible for her to
keep a
safe distance between herself and the bad feelings she felt as a child.
For
Mary,
self-deception was a source of security and happiness. For her husband,
it was
a source of pain. He felt the pain of unresolved, recurring conflict
and the
resulting shallow relationship. He felt the sting of knowing his wife
consistently chose what was good for her over what was best for them.
Every
unresolved conflict forced him to face the reality that she loved
herself more
than she loved him, at least in that area of their relationship.
Yet
it wasn’t that
Mary didn’t care at all.
She dutifully
listened to his complaints and his pleas for working out their
differences in
mutually satisfying ways. She would admit that the reason she
wasn’t
co-operating was because of her blocking. She understood that her
blocking hurt
her husband and their relationship. She understood enough about
blocking to
counsel others about how they were blocking and how destructive it was
to their
relationships. But she continued to use blocking as her preferred way
of
keeping the unwanted pain of her childhood home out of her current
home.
Why
would a
Bible reading, church attending, praying Christian refuse to do what
she knew
she should do to improve her marriage? She was afraid. She was afraid
that if
she accepted the reality of conflict in her marriage she would have to
live
with constant tension, arguments, harsh words, and recurring pain. She
was
afraid that conflict would leave her just as vulnerable and powerless
to make
things right in her present home as she had been in her childhood home.
She was
afraid to trust God to show her how to resolve the differences with her
husband
because she didn’t believe God would protect her from the
devastating pain of
conflict. After all, when she was a child, she had trusted the most
important
people in her life – her parents – and
they miserably failed her. And she
held the unspoken opinion that even God failed her. So to insulate
herself from
what she feared, she blocked. She deceived herself. She acted as if
what was
wasn’t so she could believe that what wasn’t was.
Her
story is
not unusual. Her fear is not uncommon. Everyone who selectively trusts
God (partial
unbelief) deceives themselves in some way.
(2)
Some of
us use self-deception to convince ourselves that the best way to deal
with
emotional pain and mental anguish is to cushion their blows with some
form of
pleasure or diversion that dulls the pain or makes us forget the anguish.
When we do this, we are acting as if quick relief and momentary
happiness are
better than lasting relief and true happiness. However, we cannot
pursue such
immediate, fast-acting solutions without choosing self over God and
selfishness
over love. Therefore, though we may momentarily dull our senses and
gain some
pleasure and happiness, yet gain these things at the price of
mistreating
others, damaging relationships, possibly abusing our body, and
reinforcing our
distrust of God. And why would we follow such a foolish path? We
deceive
ourselves into believing that this is the better way, and besides, we
deserve
some pleasure and happiness.
Charlie
and
Karen are husband and wife. They’ve attended Church and
called themselves
Christians for a number of years. They were happy at first, but now
they live
in constant pain. Both want a congenial, peaceful relationship, but
they are
about as far from it as the earth is from the sun. He is passive and
believes
the way to a good relationship is through pleasing and appeasing,
leniency and
soft words. She is aggressive and believes they need to tell it like it
is,
express how they feel, and work things out even if it means fighting it
out. He
feels crushed and unloved by her aggressiveness because it comes across
as
abusive and manipulative rather than endearing and relationship
building. She
feels ignored and unloved by his passiveness because it comes across as
avoidance and withdrawal rather than facing the issues and resolving
their
differences.
They
know what
their problem is because they’ve been to marriage counseling.
They just aren’t
willing to solve their problem God’s way –
through repentance and
forgiveness, gentleness and patience, and a persistent pursuit of
godliness –
because neither one believes God’s way will really work in
their situation.
The
truth is,
each has been hurt by the other for so long, and neither is willing
trust God
enough to take the steps required to change until the other person
begins changing.
So, they cushion the painful blows they inflict on each other by
looking for
happiness in other places. Charlie finds acceptance and feelings of
pleasure by
being involved in group sports. Karen soothes her pain by getting
involved in
projects where she can control the outcome. She felt especially
euphoric during
the building and decorating of their new home. Yet neither his sports
nor her
projects bring lasting solutions to their relationship problems. Though
his
sports and her projects provide momentary relief by diverting their
attention
from the real issues, they also prolong the suffering and increase the
distance
between them. In spite of this, they continue deceiving themselves by
believing
that cushioning the pain is the most sensible way to get the happiness
they
want in spite of their unhappy relationship. Their self-deception is
the result
of their partial unbelief in God’s goodness and
God’s Word.
(3)
Some of
us use self-deception to create elaborate, well defended justifications
for doing
what we know is wrong. Blame is a favorite way to defend and
justify
selfish and harmful choices and behavior. We blame God. We blame our
parents.
We blame our spouse. We blame brothers and sisters, friends and
teachers, the
boss, co-workers, neighbors, people we do business with, or anyone else
who can
be blamed as the cause of our behavior.
We
blame
people’s actions or lack of action as the reason for our
behavior in response
to them. If our responding behavior is selfish and harmful, we defend
it as
justifiable on the basis of being forced into such a response because
of what
they did or didn't do to us first. We deceive ourselves so well that we
believe
we aren’t really returning evil for evil when we mistreat
someone who has done
something evil to us, we’re just doing what is necessary to
survive.
King
Saul was
told by God to totally destroy the Amalekites: men, women, children,
oxen,
sheep, camels, and donkeys. But Saul and his army spared Agag, the king
of
Amalek, and the best of the sheep, oxen, and lambs, and whatever else
seemed
valuable. When the prophet Samuel confronted Saul concerning his
disobedience
to God, Saul defended himself. First, he blamed the army. He
essentially said,
“I didn't take anything, they did, so don’t talk to
me, talk to them.” Then
Samuel reminded Saul that he was the King. He had the power to stop the
army
from taking the spoils of war. Again, Saul justified himself. He said
he had
done what God asked him to do. He went to war and destroyed the
Amalekites
except for Agag, the king. He didn’t take any spoils, but the
army did, and
they would sacrifice them to God on the alter at Gilgal.
Now
this is a
classic example of self-deception. By shifting the blame, King Saul
deceived
himself into believing he had done nothing wrong. He compounded his
self-deception by telling himself that if any wrong had been committed
it was
either too small to worry about (he had spared the life of
only one man),
or it could be made right by giving the proceeds from the wrong done to
God –
as a gift. (Note: I Samuel 15:1-31)
John
was
convinced his boss was a jerk. In his own words he said, “I
have no respect for
a man who bullies people and puts them down.”
Having been subjected to this abuse for some time, John
now feels
justified in showing open disrespect for his boss. When we discussed
this way
of treating his boss, I said he was being as sinful as his boss. John
got
offended. He was convinced it was only logical to strike back when
struck if
you wanted to put an end to being struck. I agreed it was appropriate
to take
action in an effort to stop abuse. But I told him that when we try to
stop
being abused by returning evil for evil we are committing sin just as
much as
the one abusing us is committing sin, and therefore we are no better
than the
one abusing us. John didn’t see it that way. In his way of
thinking he was
doing what had to be done because his boss was so unreasonable.
“After all,”
John said, “it’s my boss who’s the jerk,
not me. I’m only trying to stop him
from mistreating me. If he were not so unreasonable, I
wouldn’t have to do what
I’m doing. So, talk to him, not me.”
Another
way we
often justify doing what we know is wrong is to give as many reasons as
possible why doing what we know is right will not work in our
situation. We
deceive ourselves into believing that God’s way of handling
certain people or
situations is unrealistic and impractical because it leaves us
vulnerable to
mistreatment. We want a fast-acting method that’s easy to use
and guarantees
results. Since God’s way of love rarely fits this
description, we justify the
use of selfish and worldly methods to get the results we want. This
self-deception is based on the premise that if God’s way does
not do what we
think needs to be done, then it is permissible to do what we know will
work
even though we know it is wrong.
Mark
is angry.
Peggy has not been the wife he believes she should be. Mark is right,
because
Peg is a do-as-she-pleases, uncooperative, stubborn, critical, blame
everything
on Mark kind of wife. Having put up with this abuse for several years
Mark
decided that God’s way of speaking the truth in love and
remaining kind in the
face of unkindness was not working. He decided the only way to deal
with Peggy
was to return tit for tat. Now he is secretive, uncooperative,
critical, and
openly hostile. He knows his newly chosen methods are wrong, but he
justifies
himself on the basis of having no other choice because God’s
‘love’ method has
not worked.
Think
about
this. Charlie and Karen, King Saul, John, and Mark, are basically good
people.
With the exception of King Saul, they each would consider themselves to
be New
Testament Christians with strong religious beliefs. So why did they
deliberately do what they knew was wrong? Unbelief. Complete unbelief?
No,
partial unbelief. But because any unbelief results in selfishly sinful
behavior, their partial unbelief resulted in selfishly sinful behavior.
Remember
the
Israelites? They worshiped God, read the Scriptures, prayed, feasted on
feast days
and fasted on fast days, gave their tithes and offerings, and
faithfully
offered the required sacrifice for sin. Without question, they were
serious
about their religion. But they were equally serious about distrusting
God and
His Word in some selected areas. And they remained in their state of
partial
unbelief through the use of self-deception. They blocked from their
minds the
fact that they were knowingly and willingly choosing self-centeredness
over
God’s way of love when dealing with certain people and
certain situations.
Now
don’t
think the Israelites were completely bad. They were very religious, and
they
did many admirable and virtuous things. They just did not think it was
wise to
love their neighbor as themselves in every situation. They
unquestionably
believed in the existence of God. They just were not willing to put
complete
trust in the goodness of God. They were confident God gave them the
Scriptures.
They just did not believe that everything God said about how to live
was
realistic, practical, or applicable, given their circumstances. They
believed,
but their belief was partial belief, not complete and unequivocal
trust.
Because of unbelief they became self-focused and selfish. They misused
and
abused people for selfish ends while deceiving themselves into
believing they
were God-fearing, God-pleasing, reasonably good people living out their
religious convictions.
Like
the
Israelites of old, many modern Christians claim to believe in God, yet
they do
not trust Him to always do what is best for them. Neither do they trust
His
Word to prescribe the best way to behave in all situations. And the
proof of
their partial distrust is in their actions – in doing what
they know is wrong
to promote and protect their own interests.
Allen
works for
a large, international company. In just ten years he has gone from a
ground
level engineer to a fourth level management position. He has always
been
conscientious and responsible. He has always given his employer a full
days
work. As a manager, he does his best to make decisions and treat his
co-workers
according to his Christian beliefs. What he doesn’t do is
treat his workplace
as his mission field. Yet all around him, people are living in sin and
headed
for hell. He believes it is wrong to take work time and use it for
evangelism
time. So do I, because it would be a dishonest use of our
employer’s time and
money. After all, he wasn’t hired to evangelize lost souls in
his workplace. He
was hired to make his company profitable. So what’s wrong
with what he is
doing?
Allen
is a
Christian. He has gladly accepted God’s free gift of
forgiveness for the debt
he owes on his own sin (eternal banishment in hell).
He has served on
the Mission Board at his church, doing his part to encourage others to
see
evangelism as a ‘must’ and to get actively involved
on a daily basis. He knows
that his city and the surrounding suburbs are filled with lost souls
destined
for eternal damnation. He knows there are billions of people around the
world
in this same sin-sick condition. And he knows that the right thing is
to do his
part in telling unbelievers about God’s gift and their need
to repent and trust
in Jesus Christ for God’s gift of life.
But
what is he
doing? He is working to prosper a company where he cannot witness
effectively
and where he spends so much time (60+ hours per week)
that he has no
time after work to be active in regular, affective witnessing. But
isn’t this
the normal Christian life? No, it is not the normal Christian life.
Sadly,
however, it is the all too common one.
Allen is highly skilled. He could get a job someplace else or begin his own business so evangelism could be a significant activity on the job and/or off the job. Yet he chooses to stay on a job that severely limits his evangelistic efforts both in the workplace and out of the workplace. And why does he choose this? For God’s benefit? No. For the good of those around him who are going on in their sin? No. For the good of his family? Yes, for he believes his job, not God, is their source of financial security. For the good of himself? Absolutely – for he gets his sense of self-worth from the praise he gets at work. And does he get up each morning honestly facing his unbelief and resulting self-centeredness? No!
There
is
nothing good to be said for any amount of unbelief or distrust toward
the
goodness of God and the reliability of His Word. All unbelief, be it
partial or
complete, merges with self-centeredness and produces sin. And the
reason this
is so heinous is that sin is the cruel, heartless destroyer of all that
is
good.
To
distrust
God’s goodness is to decide that God is not good, or that He
is good only some
of the time. It is to doubt God’s intentions, His integrity,
His justness, His
dependability, and His love.
When
we
distrust God, we no longer think of Him as wanting to do what is best
for us in
every situation. And we especially distrust God’s goodness
when we are
convinced He can prevent bad things from happening to us, but
doesn’t.
When
we
distrust any part of God’s Word, we won’t allow it
to be the final authority on
how we should live. Instead, we take over that position of authority
– deciding
what we think is best for ourselves. And we justify our decisions by
claiming
that the parts of God’s Word we distrust are irrelevant or
unrealistic in
relation to the difficult people and circumstances we have to deal
with.
Distrust
requires prior knowledge about something that can and ought to be
trusted. We
cannot distrust what we do not know about God or His Word. We can only
distrust
what we know to be true. Therefore, distrust concerning the goodness of
God and
the reliability of God’s Word means we have enough knowledge
about God and His
word to put complete trust in them. For this reason, unbelief is a
voluntary
choice. In other words, we deliberately choose not to trust in the
character of
God and the validity of His Word.
No
one
distrusts God and His Word without replacing godly love and
righteousness for
selfishness and sin. In other words, we go from promoting and
protecting the
good of all to seeking the good of self at the expense of others.
Therefore,
do
not let anyone deceive you. The one who consistently does what he knows
is
right is righteous, just as God is righteous. The one who willingly,
deliberately, and repeatedly does what he knows is wrong is of the
devil. Jesus
came to earth for this purpose, to destroy the practice of sin
(willingly,
deliberately, repeatedly doing what we know is wrong). No one who is
born of
God practices sin, because the life of God dwells in him (I John
3:7-9).
Is
there
known, defended, and protected unbelief in your life? Do you trust in
God
completely to provide your needs, satisfy your desires, protect you
from harm,
and be your security? Or, are there areas where you believe you must
take
matters into your own hands and act in your own self-interest? Do you
rely on
God’s Word as the best source for direction on how to live
and solutions to
life’s problems? Or, do you feel the need to part ways with
God’s Word and
decide for yourself what is right and wrong in certain situation?
Do
you see how this matter of distrust promotes selfishness and sin? Do
you understand why we will not, indeed cannot, live a godly life ruled
by love
without faith in God? For the sake of everyone affected by anything you
do,
including God, wholly trust in God and wholly rely on His Word.
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